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  • Soft/Cold – Heart-Strutter.org
    Blog via Email Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email Email Address Random Posts The Thirty First of the Month Fanny Francois Comix Blood Stained Sheets Stranger Hilary Duff February 2014 S M T W T F S Jan Mar 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 Culinary Local Milk Oh My Veggies Oh She Glows The Chalkboard Two Peas Their Pod Fashion Style Camellia Fiber Co Capture the Castle Cognitive Buyers Fried Rice Connoisseur Note To Self The Epitome of Quiet The Line The Nife En L Air The Simply Luxurious Life To Universe with Love Friends Elizabeth Heather Jared Ketta Lorik Soo Soo Misc Reads Cereal Magazine Matador Network The Believer Logger Undone Journal Soft Cold Spring is just a little over a month away It s supposed to represent new life new beginnings flourishing transformation and so on But I m not silly enough to believe that such change comes about supernaturally Any change I d like to manifest must be self created get the ball rolling so to speak One cannot see the blossoms manifest without first toiling over the planting of seeds There is no reward without work Okay enough of the analogies and metaphors I was stuck at home on bedrest the past two days I apparently had a muscle spasm in my neck that created numbness up to my scalp and pain in my shoulder upper back The doctor gave me some muscle relaxants that mostly knocked me out And in those two days boy oh boy was my mind wandering into memories past is it redundant to describe memories that way

    Original URL path: http://heart-strutter.org/2014/02/06/23750/softcold/ (2016-04-26)
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  • I’ve Been Searching For Words to Say – Heart-Strutter.org
    13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 Culinary Local Milk Oh My Veggies Oh She Glows The Chalkboard Two Peas Their Pod Fashion Style Camellia Fiber Co Capture the Castle Cognitive Buyers Fried Rice Connoisseur Note To Self The Epitome of Quiet The Line The Nife En L Air The Simply Luxurious Life To Universe with Love Friends Elizabeth Heather Jared Ketta Lorik Soo Soo Misc Reads Cereal Magazine Matador Network The Believer Logger Undone Journal I ve Been Searching For Words to Say It s only been a few short days since I last wrote I know But the last post was more of a placeholder than an actual post yannoe And I ve been dying to say something anything But sometimes I am just devoid of things to say even when there is a lot happening It s because I don t feel very much Sometimes I just let the wind take me where it may I ll write some words shortly But first I would be lying if I said I don t think I ll ever find someone As much as I enjoy basking in my own solitude and accepting my disinterest in others there is indeed a part of me that still has hope I wouldn t be where I am right now if I never had hope in the first place Even though I ve been consumed by this darkness this lingering void that casts as my shadow there must be a hint of light somewhere I d like to believe that I m a decent person Although it s mostly vacant only good intentions lay in the corners of my heart And at times it anxiously craves to be filled Pieces of me have

    Original URL path: http://heart-strutter.org/2014/02/10/23805/ive-been-searching-for-words-to-say/ (2016-04-26)
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  • “Loud enough to drown out beauty, now listen” – Heart-Strutter.org
    Feels Like I m Losing The Only Thing I Never Had Think Fast Behold Futuristic Brilliance Forget To Breathe February 2014 S M T W T F S Jan Mar 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 Culinary Local Milk Oh My Veggies Oh She Glows The Chalkboard Two Peas Their Pod Fashion Style Camellia Fiber Co Capture the Castle Cognitive Buyers Fried Rice Connoisseur Note To Self The Epitome of Quiet The Line The Nife En L Air The Simply Luxurious Life To Universe with Love Friends Elizabeth Heather Jared Ketta Lorik Soo Soo Misc Reads Cereal Magazine Matador Network The Believer Logger Undone Journal Loud enough to drown out beauty now listen I supplement lack of emotional reactivity with music and movies and anything that will help me feel Lately I ve been listening to the same music and watching a lot of movies but not even in the comforts of my own privacy so I haven t experienced any emotional release for quite some time And I beg you sing life to me again I promise this won t happen again Because it would be so wonderful to see your starry eyes again Honestly I m angry I m so angry I want to punch something I want to throw something out the window and watch it shatter into a million pieces I m angry at myself I m angry at him And him too And everyone Everyone I just want this anger to evaporate like it wasn t ever there But it s boiling inside me And there s just so much anger that it doesn t ever fully go away It always lurks just

    Original URL path: http://heart-strutter.org/2014/02/10/23807/loud-enough-to-drown-out-beauty-now-listen/ (2016-04-26)
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  • HoliDAZE. – Heart-Strutter.org
    Heather Jared Ketta Lorik Soo Soo Misc Reads Cereal Magazine Matador Network The Believer Logger Undone Journal HoliDAZE A few days out of the week I start craving black hair an ongoing issue for about a month now I dare say There s something so much more simple about plain jet black hair that its allure is easily enticing me And yet two weeks ago I re did my red hair as per usual with the addition of some purple sections Yes there are now purple magenta stripes beautifully woven into my hair Quite the opposite from the black simplicity I am craving But as my red hair has become wholly part of my look I m not sure that placing an unchangeable color in my hair is the answer to my current style predicament Besides no other hair color looks better on me than this red Thursdays cause me a small bit of stress It s the day I simultaneously feel like I have a lot and no money I suddenly have this influx of income via my paycheck arriving on Friday but then I remember all the bills I have to pay And then I start getting this awful sinking feeling that really I have no money at all The happiness gets swiped right from my pockets without it ever seeing the light of day Ugh some days I wonder when I ll be able to stop paying student loan bills and utility bills and random fucking bills It s like I can afford to pay them off in HUGE chunks but then have 0 money to actually survive day to day WHICH OPTION SHALL ONE TAKE I guess one does need foodfunfriends unfortunately So speaking of Friday solo marathon watching House of Cards on Netflix followed by

    Original URL path: http://heart-strutter.org/2014/02/14/23836/holidaze/ (2016-04-26)
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  • Eyes like the moon. – Heart-Strutter.org
    Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email Email Address Random Posts Ode to a Nightingale Protected recurring theme Deprivation Resolution and Smiles Shopping s So Fabulous February 2014 S M T W T F S Jan Mar 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 Culinary Local Milk Oh My Veggies Oh She Glows The Chalkboard Two Peas Their Pod Fashion Style Camellia Fiber Co Capture the Castle Cognitive Buyers Fried Rice Connoisseur Note To Self The Epitome of Quiet The Line The Nife En L Air The Simply Luxurious Life To Universe with Love Friends Elizabeth Heather Jared Ketta Lorik Soo Soo Misc Reads Cereal Magazine Matador Network The Believer Logger Undone Journal Eyes like the moon Sometimes there are secrets that everyone must keep A recent string of secrets has begun to eat at me chipping away at my heart keeping me on just the cuff of annoyance These secrets have the ability to alter my mood from one moment to the next It clouds my eyes instantaneously and I get transported to the place where the secrets lie What s wrong Oh I trail off realizing my thoughts are plain as day Sorry nothing But I m still not fully there But we keep on dancing the night away And I try so very hard to push the thoughts away But I know I know they still live And I know I m able to make them disappear if only I give in to reason But I m not thriving emotionally right now So my emotions are trying to take over all good reason There s no

    Original URL path: http://heart-strutter.org/2014/02/18/23880/eyes-like-the-moon/ (2016-04-26)
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  • “I turned tragedy into melodies.” – Heart-Strutter.org
    new posts by email Email Address Random Posts In The Mood For Love Balance Noumenon Believe the news I can t wait until the dust settles February 2014 S M T W T F S Jan Mar 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 Culinary Local Milk Oh My Veggies Oh She Glows The Chalkboard Two Peas Their Pod Fashion Style Camellia Fiber Co Capture the Castle Cognitive Buyers Fried Rice Connoisseur Note To Self The Epitome of Quiet The Line The Nife En L Air The Simply Luxurious Life To Universe with Love Friends Elizabeth Heather Jared Ketta Lorik Soo Soo Misc Reads Cereal Magazine Matador Network The Believer Logger Undone Journal I turned tragedy into melodies I ve focused a lot of my energy on not thinking lately Mostly I ve been up to no good Lately I ve been trying very hard to stretch my limits in a not good way It almost seems to me that anything that could viably count as a bad idea is the route I ve been taking But it requires far too much time and energy to consider this as a matter of discussion for now Inspired by short story Try by Diane Williams as featured in the November issue of The American Reader A few key phrases from her short story were used to create my own Is this what you don t want Yes the woman said Pursuing him into the next room the woman saw exactly what she didn t want She had begun to curate a life full of these things The bed seemed to overwhelm the room There was little question now what would happen

    Original URL path: http://heart-strutter.org/2014/02/25/23931/i-turned-tragedy-into-melodies/ (2016-04-26)
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  • Round-Up: February Shopping – Heart-Strutter.org
    Movies in 2008 150 Movies in 2009 150 Movies in 2010 150 Movies in 2011 Contact Form Favorite Movies Favorite Quotes Movies Night Diving Ryan s 101 goals in 1001 days Search for Subscribe to Blog via Email Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email Email Address Random Posts Just Give Up moratorium Pour The Champagne Functional Foyer Investments February 2014 S M T W T F S Jan Mar 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 Culinary Local Milk Oh My Veggies Oh She Glows The Chalkboard Two Peas Their Pod Fashion Style Camellia Fiber Co Capture the Castle Cognitive Buyers Fried Rice Connoisseur Note To Self The Epitome of Quiet The Line The Nife En L Air The Simply Luxurious Life To Universe with Love Friends Elizabeth Heather Jared Ketta Lorik Soo Soo Misc Reads Cereal Magazine Matador Network The Believer Logger Undone Journal Round Up February Shopping Now if this collage looks mildly familiar it s because I actually went ahead and purchased the items that were inspiring me from a previous collage minus the boyfriend jeans opted instead for some moto looking jeans from Emerson Fry instead and the bag I don t need any more bags for now so I opted for two sweaters from Everlane instead The sandals were a replacement of my pair just like it but from two years ago Wore them to death until the strap tore Edit March 1 Returned the Emerson Fry moto jeans They ran way too big unfortunately They are en route back to New York The search for pants continues However in returning them I

    Original URL path: http://heart-strutter.org/2014/02/28/23894/round-up-february-shopping/ (2016-04-26)
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  • 2014: High Spirits – Heart-Strutter.org
    Movies in 2009 150 Movies in 2010 150 Movies in 2011 Contact Form Favorite Movies Favorite Quotes Movies Night Diving Ryan s 101 goals in 1001 days Search for Subscribe to Blog via Email Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email Email Address Random Posts Metamorphosis And Not Everyone Is Willing To Hear It The Shake Full Compliance Illamasqua The New Face of Cosmetics January 2014 S M T W T F S Dec Feb 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Culinary Local Milk Oh My Veggies Oh She Glows The Chalkboard Two Peas Their Pod Fashion Style Camellia Fiber Co Capture the Castle Cognitive Buyers Fried Rice Connoisseur Note To Self The Epitome of Quiet The Line The Nife En L Air The Simply Luxurious Life To Universe with Love Friends Elizabeth Heather Jared Ketta Lorik Soo Soo Misc Reads Cereal Magazine Matador Network The Believer Logger Undone Journal 2014 High Spirits Last night s party was a wild success We had casino games prizes never ending champagne and beautiful energy I danced until my feet hurt in my very complimented in Valentino rockstuds Something about those heels really attracts the compliments 3 Last year was ridiculous And I m hoping for an equal amount of merriment and positive change this year as well I m in very high spirits Everything is going to be OK Things will get better they always do I mean things are good as they are now too Learning to appreciate the now is a fine art 2013 recapped in 30 seconds qt http heart strutter org wp content

    Original URL path: http://heart-strutter.org/2014/01/01/23357/2014-high-spirits/ (2016-04-26)
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