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  • Cooking For Guys (Part I: Recipes)
    What s a recipe A A recipe is sort of like directions Q Directions I thought you said this was for guys A SORT OF like directions Not much like directions at least not in any of the ways that count It s more like a strategy guide Or a hobbyist s manual Q I ll go with this recipe thing for now What do I do with a recipe Can I eat it A First make sure it s an appropriate recipe You ll probably want to start with a simple masculine recipe Look at the action words or verbs in the recipe Q Action words I like that Action I m going to get some Action Words A Make sure your action words are simple Watch out for verbs like sauté caramelize fluff or sear Things like heap pile dump and eat are good At this point you don t want anything much more complex than place on top of or possibly microwave Some words are tricky In cooking beat does not mean what you think it does Q There is a list of food at the top of my recipe What is that for A Those are

    Original URL path: http://articles.marco.org/119 (2016-04-30)
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  • Ocean's Twelve
    showing up in front of the 12 original heist members one by one to their surprise Immediately afterward there s a big meeting in which the 12 agree to pay Benedict back all of the money they stole in the first movie Nobody fights it or questions it and they all have a big meeting where they decide that they need to go steal some things in Amsterdam to make enough money to pay Benedict They all fly to Amsterdam and try to steal something But we don t actually see the theft when it happens We see a brief summary showing what really happened later a technique employed by the first movie once In Twelve they used this about 8 times Nothing you see makes any sense at all until a while later when they give a 10 second overview of what really happened This time it s not interesting it s just frustrating and doesn t make sense They first tried to steal a stock certificate but were beaten by a French guy who becomes their new enemy His motivation is that at a party a master thief didn t say that he was the best thief in the world when the first movie s heist was introduced in a conversation The French guy wants Ocean to say You re better than us The remainder of the movie is based on this and Benedict s magical detective skills are forgotten until they re explained in a 10 second clip at the end like everything else long after you ve stopped caring about it The movie really becomes ridiculous after this Julia Roberts as Tess who impersonates Julia Roberts as she hangs out with Bruce Willis also playing himself The French guy says he ll magically pay everything if they can steal an expensive art egg But they all magically get arrested as they re standing in line waiting for the museum So Tess Julia Roberts is recruited to help them out since she kinda looks like Julia Roberts So Tess Julia Roberts has to impersonate Julia Roberts and get a private showing of the egg at the museum Bruce Willis shows up out of nowhere and recognizes his friend Julia who isn t really Julia played by Julia Then Catherine Zeta Jones who I think might be playing a character shows up and arrests them But it doesn t matter Matt Damon s mom shows up and magically gets all of them out of prison The expressive dance through the museum s security lasers Ocean goes to see the French guy because apparently the French guy was able to steal the egg Of course we didn t see it because we never actually see anything being stolen in this movie about things being stolen Instead we re treated to the most ridiculous scene in the entire movie the French guy s excruciating musical dance through the museum s magical randomly moving blue laser array I have absolutely no

    Original URL path: http://articles.marco.org/118 (2016-04-30)
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  • Mitch Hedberg may have died
    Jeff Zucker who may be the president of NBC Entertainment Hedberg was allegedly referred to occasionally as the next Seinfeld Despite his death Hedberg may still be performing tonight in Baltimore When asked about his death and the presumed cancellation of the performance a spokesman from the venue said We will make an announcement later today Calls to Hedberg s agent on Monday requesting booking information were rudely terminated by

    Original URL path: http://articles.marco.org/116 (2016-04-30)
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  • PHP Web Hosting
    My forum uses my heavily modified version of phpBB Last fall there was a critical security flaw in phpBB that required a patch Patching my installation is a huge ordeal because I ve changed the source code so I decided to wait for the weekend PHP Web Hosting was kind enough to disable my phpBB for me without telling me anything All I knew was that my forum was suddenly having permissions related problems accessing its scripts I entered a support ticket and after a few hours they helpfully explained that my forum wasn t patched so they disabled it The ordeal was aggravating but I decided to give them another chance Good hosting is hard to find and they had been acceptable otherwise Over the last few months the service quality declined significantly Many page requests were simply dropped giving my visitors errors sometimes for no reason Page loads also became slow often needing 5 8 seconds before the page even began to render and sometimes timing out completely I removed the wonderful qualifier to their name in the About page and started looking around I learned that I wasn t actually getting a very good deal I was paying 10 per month for service that most places offered for 3 5 including a number of goon operated companies But I really didn t want to go through all of the work to change hosts This morning PHP Web Hosting made my decision easier In the middle of my daily backup script they removed my access to my home directory This knocked out the entire site with a 403 Forbidden error and I couldn t log in to make any changes I filled out an emergency support ticket but it wasn t answered I m glad I had that

    Original URL path: http://articles.marco.org/115 (2016-04-30)
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  • Using a Verizon cellular phone as a modem
    providers have offered PCMCIA cards for a long time but they ve usually been 300 with awful data plans that charged per kilobyte These were about as useful as the Palm VII have you ever seen anyone with a Palm VII Cell phones usually have data cables available so they can be used as modems Some phones have Bluetooth which usually allows modem use by a Bluetooth capable computer without any additional equipment although the price difference between a Bluetooth and non Bluetooth phone could buy quite a few data cables By the way Bluetooth is a huge buzzword in the gadget market It s supposed to revolutionize everything But hardly any consumers really know what it is Basically it s like wireless USB a wireless communication standard for devices to connect to each other within a few feet Once the phone is connected to the computer you usually have to dial a special number 777 for most 3G phones and you get direct internet access Data access is billed differently by carrier for example Sprint and AT T charge per kilobyte and Verizon uses minutes as if you were talking on the phone free after 9 and on weekends NOT ANYMORE see update above The other carriers offer unlimited plans but most are around 80 per month with the notable exception of T Mobile who charges 20 for unlimited access if you also have voice service or 30 for data only service Verizon s older service Quick2Net is a basic CDMA service offering a blazing 14 4 kilobits per second Fortunately their newer phones support the Express Network a 3G 1X service at 144 kilobits They have a higher speed service called BroadbandAccess that supposedly gives a 1 to 2 megabit connection but only in a handful of big cities so far only using PCMCIA cards and only with an 80 per month unlimited plan Results After using the Verizon Express Network through my LG VX4500 on a Powerbook for a few months I have arrived at an incredibly dull conclusion it s good but only for limited use The phone s battery life isn t much of an issue since the data cable can be connected while the phone is in the charger essentially giving unlimited battery life Otherwise using the phone as a modem drains the battery life slightly more slowly than making a voice call it saves a bit of power by not using the speaker and the phone can be closed so the internal screen stays off The phone has a helpful feature that suspends the connection if it s idle for about 10 seconds to save airtime But then the next request needs to wait an extra 5 10 seconds for the phone to reconnect It s not worth it and there s no way to disable it Fortunately you can get around it fairly easily by opening a terminal window and telling your computer to ping somewhere like google com every 5 seconds

    Original URL path: http://articles.marco.org/114 (2016-04-30)
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  • Sideways
    week That s it I picked that up from the preview I didn t need an hour of film to tell me that Every scene is the same Every line is the same Nothing gets accomplished No character traits are developed beyond the basics Absolutely nothing was accomplished during the first hour that encouraged me to continue watching the movie So I didn t At least I didn t waste

    Original URL path: http://articles.marco.org/113 (2016-04-30)
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  • Garden State
    friends and girl s family make some appearances but don t actually accomplish anything even remotely related to plot or character development The ending is almost sad but then becomes happy Wow How original If you watch Garden State you won t get any more out of it than that I wish I had saved my time and simply read that summary There is absolutely nothing else of any particular

    Original URL path: http://articles.marco.org/112 (2016-04-30)
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  • Controversial New Study Reveals What I Did to Your Mom Last Night
    night said the study s senior author It includes a number of things previously thought impossible While a handful of studies have speculated on your mom s nocturnal activities none have dared or even desired to go into this kind of detail The 857 page report includes appendices listing various kitchen appliances and topical anesthetics among other things It speculates that what I did to your mom last night may be one of the leading causes of global warming In response to the study numerous researchers have asked whether your mom has plans on Saturday This study is the biggest thing that s happened to your mom since well I won t go into that one proponent said Your mom is a growing field in experimental research and when I say growing I mean huge and getting bigger This study opens new doors for research into doing things to your mom Reactions have varied One researcher said Dude your mom is hot Another answered man that s some ed up Your mom s a ing I d like to to a and with shoehorn ing like a Critics assailed the study calling it unconscionable unethical and probably unconstitutional One critic

    Original URL path: http://articles.marco.org/111 (2016-04-30)
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