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  • Blog - New York State Dispute Resolution Association, Inc.
    manifestations Two fine institutions the legal system and the family were on a disastrous collision course There had to be a better way to manage parental conflict and to protect children I spent the next semester reading and writing about ADR That independent study changed my life goals and direction It was clear that the legal system rooted in rights based litigation was good at resolving many disputes However it was not always suited to resolving conflicts that involved restructuring important relationships ADR offered potential for collaborative problem solving and preserving personal and business relationships Dispute resolution faced legitimate challenges about the delivery of justice conflict with the mainstream legal community and problems with scaling up design funding and implementing of programs Nevertheless a shift towards social justice seemed desirable and inevitable Fast forward and we are still waiting for that paradigm shift And still wondering if we are on the right track If so why is progress and support for a more effective accessible and fair justice system so slow Why isn t mediation a common or even mandatory first step for more disputes Why are we still the alternative when as a young friend observed Oh you mean what you do is actual dispute resolution I don t know What I do know is that decades of experience as a community mediator and another decade with NYSDRA have only reinforced my early convictions and excitement My mentors have been the folks who were willing to give it a try It is a challenge and a privilege to sit with them and witness the hurt anger misunderstanding mistrust and mean spiritedness we all feel in conflict Gradually the energy shifts in response to the reflections questions or interventions that resonate in the room Surprisingly often we have the honor to see those same folks reach deep into reservoirs of hope trust and creativity that had been temporarily inaccessible Collaborative problem solving becomes manifest So there I go again testifying to the converted What do we need to do differently to juice up that paradigm shift Here are a few suggestions Walk that talk model that shift Use mediation in your own life to address unresolved conflict or for planning purposes especially where there are complex substantive matters important relationships and or high emotions involved Talk the walk Educate others by catching them doing it right Notice when people around you are using good skills in communication negotiation or conflict management Tell them what they did and why you noticed Thank you to Dan Weitz and Sheila Sproule of OCA ADR for their workshop at NYSDRA s Annual Conference Promote and challenge Ask a roomful of mediators if they utilize mediation and how often Once for your divorce is not enough Urge your family friends and acquaintances to use dispute resolution Look for opportunities to promote mediation to manage conflict and change in your communities Get out of our box Talk to people in other professions businesses or in communities

    Original URL path: http://www.nysdra.org/blogpost/1268710/Blog?tag=advocacy (2016-02-13)
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  • Blog - New York State Dispute Resolution Association, Inc.
    to protect their kids and create a healthier more accepting environment in their schools and communities How Do You Know If It s Bullying In the past bullying issues were at best addressed haphazardly and at worst swept under the rug Now it s taken more seriously which is good However it s also created confusion because bullying has become a catch all phrase for all kinds of peer conflicts such as teasing and other relationship issues In addition since a child with special needs may not be able explain exactly what s happening how do you know if it s a bullying situation or just kids being kids Bullying is defined as behavior that is intentional aggressive and negative carried out repeatedly against one or more targets Bullying occurs in relationships where there is an imbalance of power between the parties involved Evaluating the balance of power in a conflict is often the best way to identify bullying versus teasing If one party is afraid of the other it s more likely to be a bullying situation When a child has special needs it can be especially hard to tell what is really going on Why Kids with Special Needs Are Targeted Kids with physical developmental intellectual behavioral sensory disabilities and even allergies are more likely to be bullied than others Studies indicate that when kids have visible physical disabilities they are more likely to be victimized In addition children with special needs often have a lower baseline social standing than their fellow students which makes them more vulnerable from the start When part of a child s condition includes social challenges such as autism Social Communication Disorder formerly Asperger s syndrome and ADD or ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder the problem is intensified Kids who have trouble holding

    Original URL path: http://www.nysdra.org/blogpost/1268710/Blog?tag=anger+management (2016-02-13)
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  • Blog - New York State Dispute Resolution Association, Inc.
    problem solving riots social justice special needs O Baltimore Posted By Peter Glassman Friday May 01 2015 Updated Wednesday May 06 2015 I just returned from three days in Baltimore I was there for a conference of the Coalition for Agriculture Mediation Programs We were holed up in a downtown hotel advised not to venture outside while watching horrifying video of ongoing mayhem on the local news Police fire and military vehicles could be frequently seen and heard speeding by on downtown streets The irony was not lost on us that we had traveled from around the country to share our skills and experiences in conflict management while violent conflict raged around us And yet we dared not venture outside Hotel staff spoke of lifetimes of experiences with the Baltimore police ranging from disrespectful to appalling When the conference ended on Wednesday I ventured down to the Inner Harbor Many Baltimoreans complain about the amount of development dollars that have been plowed into this slick touristy area while blight and decay overtake most other neighborhoods in the city An Orioles game at nearby Camden Yards was played in the stadium s empty cavernous expanse The game was closed to the public for safety reasons Interesting business model There amidst the pristine streets glitzy Anne Taylors and Cheesecake Factorys were hundreds of National Guard soldiers armed with automatic weapons Humvees were ostentatiously parked everywhere People cheerfully approached these soldiers to snap selfies A bonus tourist attraction Though I have lots of strong opinions on the state of race and the criminal justice system in our country I will demur for now What I d like to share is how bizarre and disconcerting these images were How quickly curfews and militarization can become the new normal And how chilling that prospect is

    Original URL path: http://www.nysdra.org/blogpost/1268710/Blog?tag=Baltimore (2016-02-13)
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  • Blog - New York State Dispute Resolution Association, Inc.
    manifestations Two fine institutions the legal system and the family were on a disastrous collision course There had to be a better way to manage parental conflict and to protect children I spent the next semester reading and writing about ADR That independent study changed my life goals and direction It was clear that the legal system rooted in rights based litigation was good at resolving many disputes However it was not always suited to resolving conflicts that involved restructuring important relationships ADR offered potential for collaborative problem solving and preserving personal and business relationships Dispute resolution faced legitimate challenges about the delivery of justice conflict with the mainstream legal community and problems with scaling up design funding and implementing of programs Nevertheless a shift towards social justice seemed desirable and inevitable Fast forward and we are still waiting for that paradigm shift And still wondering if we are on the right track If so why is progress and support for a more effective accessible and fair justice system so slow Why isn t mediation a common or even mandatory first step for more disputes Why are we still the alternative when as a young friend observed Oh you mean what you do is actual dispute resolution I don t know What I do know is that decades of experience as a community mediator and another decade with NYSDRA have only reinforced my early convictions and excitement My mentors have been the folks who were willing to give it a try It is a challenge and a privilege to sit with them and witness the hurt anger misunderstanding mistrust and mean spiritedness we all feel in conflict Gradually the energy shifts in response to the reflections questions or interventions that resonate in the room Surprisingly often we have the honor to see those same folks reach deep into reservoirs of hope trust and creativity that had been temporarily inaccessible Collaborative problem solving becomes manifest So there I go again testifying to the converted What do we need to do differently to juice up that paradigm shift Here are a few suggestions Walk that talk model that shift Use mediation in your own life to address unresolved conflict or for planning purposes especially where there are complex substantive matters important relationships and or high emotions involved Talk the walk Educate others by catching them doing it right Notice when people around you are using good skills in communication negotiation or conflict management Tell them what they did and why you noticed Thank you to Dan Weitz and Sheila Sproule of OCA ADR for their workshop at NYSDRA s Annual Conference Promote and challenge Ask a roomful of mediators if they utilize mediation and how often Once for your divorce is not enough Urge your family friends and acquaintances to use dispute resolution Look for opportunities to promote mediation to manage conflict and change in your communities Get out of our box Talk to people in other professions businesses or in communities

    Original URL path: http://www.nysdra.org/blogpost/1268710/Blog?tag=collaborative (2016-02-13)
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  • Emerging Fox - New York State Dispute Resolution Association, Inc.
    into consciousness some of the mysteries of the mediation process Against plenty of evidence to the contrary I live in hope that awareness leads to clarity and effective intervention One of the ineffables is what happens when the muddle and mess of conflict laid out on the table gradually transforms and emerges as bright new solutions and consensus After decades of practice it still feels like magic I recently rediscovered a popular poem called The Thought Fox Ted Hughes describes the slow and mysterious emergence of a fox in winter he is also talking about the creation of a poem He describes the approach of a glowing eye A widening deepening greenness Brilliantly concentratedly Coming about its own business Richard Webster a critic interprets Hughes s poetic vision as the conflict between violence and tenderness http www richardwebster net tedhughes html Mediation allows participants to bridge the gap dividing competition and collaboration and to reconnect with those preservationist impulses to be kind and generous with one another Mediator neutrality and respect for self determination ensures that the people we work with come about their own business Seeing a fox stirs us with primal responses witnessing conflict transformation is also a

    Original URL path: http://www.nysdra.org/blogpost/1268710/234729/Emerging-Fox (2016-02-13)
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  • Take Off Your Shoes: The Sole of Restorative Problem-Solving - New York State Dispute Resolution Association, Inc.
    Her simple yet comprehensive approach to a complex topic left the entire audience inspired and energized to see restorative processes utilized more widely in schools and the juvenile justice system Marg showed the audience the scientific data needed to prove that punishing school children for bad behavior and a zero tolerance approach to problem solving does not work to change that behavior Instead of behavior management schools need to focus on relationship management and creating a positive climate for learning She used humor and simple examples to show how a person is more able to grow and improve when they are valued and invested in Her keynote set the perfect tone for the symposium s panel discussions on implementing restorative processes in schools and working with juvenile justice agencies to incorporate these practices Duke Fisher led a particularly interesting lunchtime activity where attendees were asked to participate in their own circle activity during the meal It was a way for us to buy in to the process by actually using it At my table the educators present were more interested in talking amongst themselves than listening to what others had to say When we were finally focused around a talking item we were able to really hear each other It was obvious it would take deliberate practice and further training for any of us to lead such an activity amongst students Marg also presented a lecture later in the evening on Understanding the nature of emotional harm Why restorative problem solving is good for our brains We were treated to more light hearted story telling while Marg addressed some pretty serious topics She focused a lot on how negative emotions when not metabolized lead to shame We learned how people s responses to their own shame can lead to further

    Original URL path: http://www.nysdra.org/blogpost/1268710/230407/Take-Off-Your-Shoes-The-Sole-of-Restorative-Problem-Solving (2016-02-13)
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  • Easy as Pie Recipe for Blogging - New York State Dispute Resolution Association, Inc.
    Council on Nonprofit s NYCON Camp Finance in early October two days of splendid workshops on finance social media governance technology and accountability compliance Even the panel discussions were packed with information and inspiration We will briefly acknowledge that a couple of days in the Mohonk Mountain House with on beyond amazing food views and potential for exploring endless trails gardens a labyrinth rooms with porches rocking chairs and real fireplaces didn t hurt either Very Nourishing Jay Wilkinson and the folks from Firespring whetted our appetites with a common sense approach to thought leadership and blogging strategies check out their free online webinars Ok maybe pie making isn t easy for everyone but this is worth a try I ll even include Lacy s Impossible Pie from my school chum Stay with me So thought leadership requires a commitment to generating great content becoming an established expert and inspiring action This must be true because I heard it first from Carla Schlist NYSDRA s Membership and Communications Manager Ingredients of popular and nutritional blogs Great stories Encourage participation Express gratitude Timely and durable Well edited Short pointed Team produced Production 1 Select a team of 4 5 people who love to write journal etc 2 Meet to discuss the blog theme and mission 3 Brainstorm topics Jay thought we could generate 50 in an hour or two 4 Divide up the work 5 Repeat Steps 3 4 as needed So are you inspired Will you act At least try this easy pie recipe Mix 2 3 cup milk ½ cup baking mix and 2 eggs Add 2 cups of vegetables cooked or thawed and ½ cup of cheese Pour into a greased pie pan and bake at 400 for 30 35 minutes Attached Thumbnails This post has not been

    Original URL path: http://www.nysdra.org/blogpost/1268710/229562/Easy-as-Pie-Recipe-for-Blogging (2016-02-13)
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  • Mediations Increase at AAA Due to Rule Change - New York State Dispute Resolution Association, Inc.
    to the applicable provisions of the AAA s Commercial Mediation Procedures or as otherwise agreed by the parties Absent an agreement of the parties to the contrary the mediation shall take place concurrently with the arbitration and shall not serve to delay the arbitration proceedings However any party to an arbitration may unilaterally opt out of this rule upon notification to the AAA and the other parties to the arbitration The parties shall confirm the completion of any mediation or any decision to opt out of this rule to the AAA Unless agreed to by all parties and the mediator the mediator shall not be appointed as an arbitrator to the case The AAA saw a 51 increase in commercial mediations from 2013 to 2014 and a large increase in clients opting to mediate after initially filing for arbitration In 2014 61 of AAA business to business cases were resolved prior to going to award and 43 of those cases were resolved so early that they incurred no arbitrator compensation There is a clear link between Rule 9 and increases in the AAA mediation caseload and settlements on cases initially filed as arbitrations Though the parties can opt out of Rule 9 the rule has increased positive mediation dialogue between the AAA parties and counsel The rule eliminates the perception of weakness concern that some parties and counsel may have about merely starting the conversation about mediation Mediation is now being deemed an important step in the arbitration process with the ultimate goal to potentially reach early settlement and avoid a costly arbitration process Some parties are even opting for a two track process to conduct a mediation session while simultaneously keeping the arbitration process going The International Centre for Dispute Resolution ICDR the international branch of the AAA also

    Original URL path: http://www.nysdra.org/blogpost/1268710/222932/Mediations-Increase-at-AAA-Due-to-Rule-Change (2016-02-13)
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